Mum says one stops writing when trauma strikes one's life, or when he or she is going through major uncertainties. She stopped during Charcoal tragic death, and then again when Grandpa passed away.
I stop writing somewhere in between the end of my last relationship and the start of my new job. Transition out from a broken relationship was not easy, yet it ironically interspersed with the excitement of what the new job could offer. Either it was emotionally too much to handle, or it was all too exciting that got me going, I stopped writing, at least stopped writing to my own satisfactory.
Today I return to this blog that I once held so dearly and yet dumped aside so abruptly, I wonder if i should pick it up again. Many comments received, almost all of them from anonymous selling online products. None from friends that I know. Perhaps, with the convenience of Facebook and Twitter, no one bother to read blogs anymore. Or perhaps, they just stop being bothered with mine. Perhaps it is good, so that I can write without consideration of the audience.
Dr Chan says writing is actually thinking. I say, it is also about the articulation of thoughts. Many times, it is also about confronting yourself with realities that are unpleasant. Either way, I often felt depressed for not being able to write. I come to realize that it is not just about my uselessness in giving new ideas and conceptualizing thoughts, as I often made myself believe, but also because of my fear of failure and my pride in being the superior among peers. That, of course, has a lot of to do with my upbringing and childhood experience:)
Having returned to Penang, doing a new job that could potentially lead me down a career path that is unexpected and unimaginable prior to my graduation, settling down in new church and reuniting the family, I often find it needful to 'reconcile' my 'new' life with the 'old' one. Perhaps, by starting to write again is the first step i can take.