My billy gal in primary finally!

Remembering the day when you first came in to my house. It was a memorable one, bcos right after your mom pick you up, my house's kitchen was on fire!

Back then, you were just a 2 month old baby. For seven years you called me 'che che', and I've always treat you like my own sister ever since then. The smile and the hugs you offer, they always touch my heart.

Now, look how much you've grown! I almost cry seeing you in your uniform... and yes, I've grown too. We've grown together!


Billy's 5 years old birthday

My three darlings- Xin Yun, Billy, and Vanessa

complication and frustration

someTimes, life don't seems to have a purpose anymore.
someTimes, my future seems to be so hopeless.
someTimes, it feels like u want to vomit but couldn't,
So many things in yr mind that u don't even know where to start
but someTimes, it feels that it is really empty inside
i hope that some1 can understands my situation
but someTimes it feels stupid to expose yrself to the world,
esp thru an uncertain cyber community
i feel very superficial blogging just abt my daily stuffs, like how happy i am when i got a new dress...yada yada
but i hate my blog to be filled with my negative feelings, seems to other like begging for mercy
and i'm afraid to comment on big stuffs, becos i'm afraid of ppl's criticism,
and i compare my blog with other's.
Besides, posting videos and pictures are taking too much time!

i'm so complicated.

first i stop composing songs, then i stop writing diary, now i stop blogging
i'm not recording, nor i creating!!!

i'm frusfrated.

Who should i tell all these to?
God? Does He care? Why doesn't He respond?
Family or Friends? Will they understand? Ultimately, I'll just add burden to those who care and irritate those who don't.

Freedom Writers

Well it got me thinking quite a bit. Racial segregation isn't really a new issue to me. With several concerned friends, we've talked abt it over the table, we've seen it happening in our campuses and neighbourhood. And while i thought that things aren't going too well here, i only realized that things are so bad in the other side of the world after watching this.

Talking racial issues at home is very different as talking it in campus. Here, a lot of discontentments and complaints has built in my parents and my ancestors' heart. They felt that racially, we're being treated unfairly, we're being clamped down because we could be better. and the integration that we'll been promoting, they consider as comprimising, something that will lead your race to being wiped out. So to them, integration is liar. We should protect our root, our cultures, our own people.

Honestly, i wouldn't say that they're talking nuts. In fact, i've heard it over times since i was young, but things changed after i enter university. Actually, I changed. My perspective changed. Yes, i do think it's unfair. But what good do we do, if we convert our anger and bitterness into hatred and intolerance? Things are just going to get worse! Yet, it is so much easier for it to be said than to be done, esp for the older generation, who was hurt so much, to forgive each other wrongdoings...?

I'm trying to relate biblical teaching in this context. Listen to what Jesus says, 'but i tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.' Luke 6:27-29

The time when i find it hard to follow this is when i found out that the other isn't following it. Then i'll feel like a fool, being taken advantage for nothing.

I wonder since when human race identify themselves according to races. I wonder why would all these racist ideas comes along.

Nice show, watch it!