Everyday my history is expanding.
Today i have no where else to run but to face it and be the 'achaeologist' of myself. Mum has been urging me to deal with my stuffs before i leave for kl again as my family is shifting again. Shifting, to me means bringing forward, and leaving behind.
I have been procastinating, not only because it's gonna takes up a lot of time (and the fact tht i'm simply lazy:P), but also because i knew that it's gonna stirred up so much emotions in me and i might have to take even longer time to deal with it(ya, and that's why i'm blogging now).
As i flipped through the pieces that i've left and kept along the journey through space and time, it just brings back so much memories. Fragmented ones. Some are well preserved, some not. And like we always doubt the history that we're told, i wonder my past that was shown by that few articles was without bias.
Today i've seen my recent past again, most of them recalled my senior high school time. I rediscovered the boy i used to love, friends whom kept in touch, friends who are no longer friends. Peoples that crossed my path and shaped me into who i am today, what they meant to me back then. Words that had built me, incidents that set us apart. Relationships that might never be the same again. Faces that i might not even see again.
It's always a hard choice when it comes to cleaning up stuffs like this. Unlike clothes, i can't wear them for protection. Nor are they like money, which i can spend to get my provision. And they are increasing each day, as if one day they will be enough for a 'museum'. (lol...). Yet, it's JUST so hard to throw them away. In the end, i think i only managed to reluctantly throw less than a quarter of them.
Few days ago a curious friend tracked my old blog and claimed that he has discovered my past :P. Well I tailed him and rediscovered myself. Like those 'junks' that i kept, it is also a fragment that i left that connect me to myself in the past.
Above all else, i think i rediscover My passion. My devotion. My God.