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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Fragments of Memories

Everyday my history is expanding.

Today i have no where else to run but to face it and be the 'achaeologist' of myself. Mum has been urging me to deal with my stuffs before i leave for kl again as my family is shifting again. Shifting, to me means bringing forward, and leaving behind.

I have been procastinating, not only because it's gonna takes up a lot of time (and the fact tht i'm simply lazy:P), but also because i knew that it's gonna stirred up so much emotions in me and i might have to take even longer time to deal with it(ya, and that's why i'm blogging now).

As i flipped through the pieces that i've left and kept along the journey through space and time, it just brings back so much memories. Fragmented ones. Some are well preserved, some not. And like we always doubt the history that we're told, i wonder my past that was shown by that few articles was without bias.

Today i've seen my recent past again, most of them recalled my senior high school time. I rediscovered the boy i used to love, friends whom kept in touch, friends who are no longer friends. Peoples that crossed my path and shaped me into who i am today, what they meant to me back then. Words that had built me, incidents that set us apart. Relationships that might never be the same again. Faces that i might not even see again.

It's always a hard choice when it comes to cleaning up stuffs like this. Unlike clothes, i can't wear them for protection. Nor are they like money, which i can spend to get my provision. And they are increasing each day, as if one day they will be enough for a 'museum'. (lol...). Yet, it's JUST so hard to throw them away. In the end, i think i only managed to reluctantly throw less than a quarter of them.

Few days ago a curious friend tracked my old blog and claimed that he has discovered my past :P. Well I tailed him and rediscovered myself. Like those 'junks' that i kept, it is also a fragment that i left that connect me to myself in the past.

Above all else, i think i rediscover My passion. My devotion. My God.

8 comments:

~ivy~ said...

and this is my 50th post! What a significance...

SimianD said...

Wow, you were the first to leave a comment on your 50th post. I wonder why you didn't just edit your post and add to it. :-P

Congrats on the 50th!

~ivy~ said...

becos i want to be the first to leave a comment on my 50th post? Haha. No la. Didn't want to spoil the authencity of my entry. And it didn't fit the title anyway

Kaun said...

Well I was doubling over the load on my shoulders
Was a weight I carried with me everyday
Crossing miles of frustrations and rivers a raging
Picking up stones I found along the way
I staggered and I stumbled down
Pathways of trouble
I was hauling those souvenirs of misery
And with each step taken my back was breaking
'Til I found the One who took it all from me

Down by the riverside
(Down by the riverside)
I laid my burdens down,
Now I'm traveling light
My spirit lifted high
(I found my freedom now)
I found my freedom now
And I'm traveling light

Through the darkest alleys and loneliest valleys
I was dragging those heavy chains of doubt and fear
Then with the one word spoken the locks were broken
Now He's leading me to places
Where there are no tears

****

I like this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hgnsMg4z2I

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