I look at her.
She's pretty. She's talented. She have a dozen of guys willingly sacrifice and care, only pleading for her love as return.
I thought of him. and her. and many hims and hers.
rich. bold. godly. gifted. kind.
and then i am reminded of the other hims and hers.
broken. hurt. masked.
straving. strive to even survive.
abused. abandoned. dissappointed.
We know too well that material is not the right measurement for God's love. But then what is? How do we know that God loves us? Which is easier, to tell a rich kid with a broken heart, or to tell an orphan with sufficient protection, that God loves him/her?
Why is some given more, and some given less? Shd we even bother to ask, if everytime the answer given is that 'everything belongs to God, He gives and He takes away, who are we, the clay, to question to potter?'
True. but the truth is hard. We called Him father, we called Him our lover, we enjoy an intimate relationship with Him. Would He mind telling us a little on why is He behaving like that?
See what we does to our kids in Children Church. We ask them to be quiet and obey in order to get the gift, we give rewards to those who can answer the question/behaved well, we try our best to be fair to each and everyone of them.
Is that what God is doing to us?
I don't think God control us like controlling robot, He gives us freedom of will, feelings and choices. And yet He is all-powerful and all-knowing so He knows exactly what will we do next and therefore set everythings in place so that His will in our live can be done......? I don't have any problem in following God's will. I'm just trying to figure out the logic.
Perhaps this is where God's loves is invovled. Because He knows better and He wants the best for us because He loves us.
Yet, sometime i feel that reality makes it hard to accept. Don't you think, that in our world today, the 'rich' is too 'rich', and the 'poor' is too 'poor'?
Where is God in the picture? How is God's love prevails?
Jesus loves me this i know,
For the bible tell me so;
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong...
I think He loves me enough to allow me to doubt His love...
1 comment:
Hi Ivy,
thanks for linking up to us :)
As a teenager I was a bit of a 'doubting Thomas'. It's scary sometimes because you seem to ask questions nobody seems interested in...
Some friends will look at you 'one kind', worrying if you've lost your salvation. It still happens..
Or, offer well-meaning advice to 'have more faith' by just trying a bit harder.
Os Guinness' book "God in the dark" helped much. he says:
"Doubt is not the opposite of faith, nor is it the same as unbelief. Doubt is a state of mind in suspension between faith and unbelief..."
But unbelief is a "a willful refusal to believe" or "deliberate decision to disobey"... "a state of mind that is closed against God".
"Doubt comes from a word meaning ‘TWO.’ To believe is to be ‘in one mind’ about ACCEPTING something as true; to disbelieve is to be ‘in one mind’ about REJECTING it. To doubt is to waver between the two, to believe and disbelieve at once and so to be ‘in two minds.’"
http://theagora.blogspot.com/2005/08/god-in-dark.html
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